Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day Prayer

Yesterday, during our church service, our minister prayed a prayer for Mother's Day that really touched me. He included not only the mothers, grandmothers, etc, but also all the women who want to be mothers but are struggling with infertility. I have never heard anyone acknowledge this struggle in connection with Mother's Day before. And I teared up.

All the years that we were trying to have a baby and couldn't, Mother's Day was torture. It emphasized what I wanted but couldn't have. Often times, at the church service, they would hand out a flower to each mom who was there. And I never got one. I felt left out.

I wanted to celebrate my mom, and Brent's mom, and my sister, and his sister, who are all moms. But I was also jealous. And felt left out. Because I was the only women in either family who wasn't a mom. And I desperately wanted to be.

I thought I was past all that. After all, I am a mom now. I have two beautiful children. But when Gordon prayed that prayer, I almost cried.

Finally, someone acknowledged what I felt, and what many other women still feel. And I realized again that infertility isn't something that I "got over" even after two children. It changed how I feel, how I see things, even who I am. It makes me feel even more for women who can't have children, for those who hope to have children, and for those who have lost children.

Thank you for your sensitivity, Gordon. Thank you for including women who feel so left out all the time, and who feel even more left out on this day every year.