Catching up with Samantha pt. 1

I'm not sure when the last time I wrote about Samantha was.  I know it was before we moved into our new house, so she, too, has had 2 birthdays that I have yet to write about.  She's had a lot going on in the last 18 months or so.  A lot of it is about her gait issues, so this post will be all about that...then I'll actually work on catching up with the rest of her goings on in a second post. 

 In the summer of 2011, she started having a little trouble walking occassionally.  She could not walk fast at all and she was sort of limping while she walked slowly.  Running was impossible.  We were at the doctor's office for Jacob's 18 month visit the first time I noticed it.  The nurse asked her about it and we thought it was probably because of the ingrown toenail she had.  The doctor gave me some tips on how to keep her toenails from becoming ingrown since, at the time, she got them fairly frequently.  She got better for a while.  And then it came back.  And it was worse.  But this time she didn't have an ingrown toenail.  This kept going for a few months until it got to the point that it no longer stopped.  She couldn't run.  She couldn't walk fast.  She couldn't keep up with her friends at the park.  She did come up with a way to sort of run, by swinging her leg way out.  I was starting to get very concerned. 

I asked Samantha's doctor about it when we went for her well check in January, but she walked with exaggerated care for him so he didn't see what I was talking about.  He assummed that it was just something she picked up because of having ingrown toenails so much.  After that, I asked Leslie, who is a pediatric nurse, what she thought about it.  She wasn't sure what I was talking about.  But then when we were at the Lindley's house a few days later, she saw it.  She asked if that was what I was talking about and she was extremely concerned.  She was so concerned that the next morning she called me a couple of times and left messages when I didn't answer, called her kid's pediatrician in Temple to describe the gait to him and ask his advice, and walked over to my house to talk to me about it some more, all by 8:30 in the morning.  She asked to see Samantha trying to run again, so we all went outside to play.  She took this video for me, and sent a copy to her peditrician.  Her pediatrician advised going to the ER in Temple so that we could get into see a pediatric neurologist without having to wait potentially months to get an appointment.  I took the video to Samantha's doctor.  The next day our doctor called me back as soon as he had seen the video.  He said, "She wasn't doing that in the office, was she?"  And I told him that she wasn't because she was walking very slowly and carefully, putting one foot directly in front of the other, kind of like walking a line, but that as soon as we left, she was doing it again.  He was very concerned and the next day we had an appointment with a pediatric orthopedist for the following week. 

First we saw a nurse practioner.  She checked for joint problems.  She checked for a difference in the length of her legs.  She did x-rays.  She did everything she could think of that day and couldn't come up with what was causing the problem.  So she sent us for an MRI and ordered some bloodwork.  They did a full spinal MRI, from the neck down.  They didn't see any joint problems.  There was no spinal tumor.  There was no evidence of rheumatoid arthritis.  She sent us to her supervising doctor.  He reviewed the tests and ordered some additional bloodwork.  He still couldn't find any problems.

Jacob's ECI team told me about a client they had previously, who had an issue with his muscle and bone growing at different rates.  They thought that Samantha's gait looked similar and Grace thought that Samantha's right leg felt very tight.  They recommended that I look into that possibility.  They said that it did not show up in an MRI, that it was diagnosed by PT evaluation and that it was treated by PT.  They said that it was important to see a pediatric PT, though, because otherwise the therapist would probably not be familiar with issues like that.

So I asked the doctor to send us to PT instead of asking to be sent to a neurologist.  Our PCP said that he would be OK with that, but that he wanted to talk to the orthopedist first to make sure they were on the same page.  I called every month to ask about it and got the same answer each time. 

In the meantime, Samantha started ballet midway through February, and then, right around Easter, Samantha got much better.  She even noticed herself.  The week before Easter she told me, "Mommy look!  I can run normal!" as she ran down the hallway with no difficulty, no limp and no gait problems.  That improvement lasted a couple of weeks before the problems started creeping back in.

Finally, we were in the doctor's office in May or June for something else and I asked again.  He called again while I waited in the office.  Finally we got the OK to start PT.

Samantha had her PT evaluation in the middle of June and started PT twice a week the third week of June.  She had a lot of milestones that she was not meeting.  We worked on her balance, on standing on one leg at a time, on walking on a balance beam, on galloping and skipping and on walking up and down stairs with one foot on each step.  She made a lot of improvement, she accomplished almost all the milestones that she had been behind on.  But her gait was still bad.  A little better, but still not normal.  She moved to once a week PT in the middle of July and then had her last day of PT on Thursday, July 26. 

But that Monday (7/23) she had started walking a lot worse again.  And then she started eating a lot on Wednesday (7/25).  When I told her PT assistant about that during her last session, he said that it could possibly be tied to her growth after all, and that the abnormal gait could be a way for her to compensate for growing pains (which she has not complained of) or for her balance and agility being thrown off by her growth.  He did say that he thought that we should go back to the doctor, that if it was his child he would do so.  And I was glad to have a professional agree with me. 

I tried to talk about more testing, but it didn't happen.  And quite honestly, I was tired of fighting and Samantha was tired of going to the doctor.  So I decided that I would give it a break and just keep track of when her gait worsens and when she eats more and that I would track her growth every month.  So far, increased gait issues and increased eating have coincided each time.  But I think that I need to track her growth at smaller intervals...at least biweekly, so that is what I have started doing now.  I figure that if it does show to be tied to growth spurts, then we have nothing else to worry about, with the exception of possibly doing PT again.  And if it doesn't, then I have something to show the doctor to say that we really need to be looking at what is causing this issue.  So that's where we are right now.  Just watching and reminding her about her PT exercises when she starts having a hard time again.  And she does do much better than before.  And she can keep up with her friends now. And that makes us both smile.

Friday Update

I realize my blogging has been lacking this week and I apologize. It will probably remain a little on the slow side for another week or so. Should you need to hear my excuses, here they are.

First, we (mostly) moved to the country last weekend and our computer is still at our old house. It will be going with us this weekend. However, we don't have internet in the country yet, so to post anything, I will still have to go to another family member's house to use their computer/internet.

Secondly, we came back to the city on Tuesday evening for me to have surgery on Wednesday. There was a lump in my lower abdomen, and my doctor was pretty sure it was an endometrioma, or possibly a hernia. He said that we really did need to take care of it before I moved completely, so less than a week after I met this doctor, he performed surgery on me.

It was scheduled to be a day surgery. Just in and out, no problems anticipated. What we expected to be golfball sized turned out to be as big as my doctor's fist and he now believes that it is a desmoid tumor...a benign tumor that has a high incidence of recurrence. And apparently it is very fast growing because this was only a hard spot whenI first noticed it and asked my OB/GYN about it 4 months ago. We should have the pathology reports on Wednesday at my post op appointment.

Because things are never simple with me, I got to be admitted for an overnight stay at the hospital rather than coming home on Wednesday evening. It wasn't a big deal, just that I wasn't coming out of the effects of anesthesia fast enough. I was released in the late afternoon on Thursday and I was very happy to be home with my family.

The next week and a half or so will be crazy busy with going back and forth between the new house and the old house and getting several more doctor's appointments squeezed in for me and the kids. So even if we do get our internet up and running, I still expect that I won't be posting a whole lot for the next week or two. I will post when I can, I just don't anticipate it being frequent.

Don't worry, though, I will still take pictures of my adorable kids and will write down the fun things that happen so that I can share everything with you once things are going a little more in the normal direction.

Before I leave you, though, I want to share something about Samantha from while I was in the hospital.

When I didn't get to come home on Wednesday evening, or even Thursday morning, Brent explained to her that I was still at the hospital because I was sick and the doctor was helping me to get better. She seemed to accept this quite well, and didn't get upset. But then she told Brent "My leg hurt. Need go hospital." Aawww...what a cutie and so smart, too :)

Back From the Country for Surgery

We arrived back at our old home last night. Brent is here for the day, but the kids and I are here until Sunday. I have my sugery this afternoon, and I have to admit, I am a little nervous.

Brent says I shouldn't be, but I just can't seem to help it. The surgery is supposed to be a simple 45 minute procedure. But I am not exactly known for having anything simple when we are talking medical stuff. The surgery will be at 1:30 this afternoon. Will you please pray for it to be simple, for there to be no suprises and for the recovery to be fairly easy...after all I do have two wee kiddos to be taking care of.

Now, about the country life. Samantha was so excited when we pulled up to our new house on Sunday afternoon. She saw her swing and slide (Thank you, Memaw for taking them and getting them set up before we got there!) and she immediatley recognized them and was excited about them. And she was also happy to see her toybox in her room and her flower sheets on the bed at bedtime. Once again...thank you, Memaw! These things helped her feel right at home as soon as we got there.

Just a few hours into living in our new home, we had the dubious privilege of teaching Samantha what a scorpion is and that she must NOT touch them. And I figured that while we are at it, we would talk about snakes, too. I told her that if she ever sees a snake, she must go away from it and yell for me. She said OK.

On Monday morning, just before we went outside, I asked her what to do if she sees a snake. She replied "Go away, pees." Hmm...while we are teaching her to be polite, even when she asks someone (or something...ie the dog) to go away, I don't think that a poisonous snake deserves that consideration. And since there is no way to teach a 2 year old what is poisonous and what is not, we are just going with the "all snakes are dangerous" approach.

So after her very polite answer, I reminded her that she should not talk to the snake, but just run away and yell for Mommy od Daddy. She said OK. We'll see if she remembers. On the bright side, when we saw another scorpion at Aunt Ginger's house on Monday, she backed up right away without anyone having to tell her to. Woohoo! We will, however, keep the reminders coming.

And just for good measure, I think that we will add spiders to the dangerous category. I know that the odds of any spider she sees being a brown recluse or black widow are pretty slim...but I really don't want to take any chances.

Now for the good things about living in the country...

Samantha is LOVING how much time we can spend outside. She thinks that rocks and leaves and dirt are the best toys ever. And when she wants a taste of civilization, she has a sandbox and her swing and slide. But those don't last long with the allure of rocks, dirt and leaves. :)

We are also able to look out our window in the living rom or the kitchen and see the resident wildlife. We have seen "Daddy deer and baby deer and weally weally 'ig 'abbits!" at various times during the day. We can see hear birds singing, crickets chirping and cicadias serenading us each evening. We can see about a million stars at night. And there are no sirens or car alarms going off that wake our child up and/or scare her.

We still have quite a bit of adjusting to do, especially while we are in this transition of travelling back and forth each weekend to get the house ready to sell, but once we are more settled, I think things will be absoluetly great!

Crazy Week

The last 7 (maybe 8) days have definitely been something else. Last Wednesday I called the pediatrician and asked to bring Jacob in. I didn't like the way his breathing sounded and he wasn't eating very much. I told the receptionist that Dr Ramirez would probably tell me that he is teething and has allergies, but that I wanted to bring him in just to be sure. They gave me an appointment for Thursday afternoon because they close at lunch on Wednesdays and it was almost lunchtime when I called.

On the way to the dr, Thursday afternoon, Jacob's breathing and coughing was so bad that I almost stopped at the hospital on the way. And he got 2 breathing treatments before we left the doctor's office. And we got 5 prescriptions. And a referral to the dermatologist. If you want more details, feel free to go read all about it here.

Friday was supposed to be my first day of not working but due to leaving early on Thursday and not getting everything done, I worked most of the day. My sweet boy still sounded horrible. But he did slowly get better.

The weekend was for packing, but we did take a break Saturday evening to go spend some time at the lake with our friends. Probably not the smartest decision given the fact that my son was still wheezing, but we did enjoy spending time with our friends.

Monday morning we had the appointment with the dermatologist. Monday afternoon I had my annual appointment with my OB/GYN. Now I have to backtrack. When I last saw him, it was for my 6 week postpartum check. A little more than 4 months ago. At that time, at the base and to one side of my scar, my abdomen was hard rather than soft like the other side. I asked the doctor about it and he felt it, then said that he thought it was just some scar tissue. It seemed logical to me, so I didn't worry about it at all.

It continued to grow. I still didn't worry about it. I figured it is just scar tissue growing. I do have a tendency for my scar tissue to grow all over the place. It became a large, hard lump that tends to be tender. Still not worried...it must just be scar tissue.

Awhile back I posted this, about my needs as stated by google. It was just in the name of fun...but perhaps was a bit prophetic. You see one of my needs stated that I need an operation. I laughed it off, it was all a joke.

But now, back to this week. Since I was in the doctor's office for my exam, I decided to ask him about the lump. I completely expected the same answer as before. But that's not what I got. Instead, I got a referral to a general surgeon. They made an appointment for me for Thursday (that would be today.)

Yesterday I had a different doctor appointment, completely unrelated, just taking care of stuff before we move.

This afternoon I had the appointment with the surgeon. He is fairly certain that I have an endometrioma. In spite of the fact that I have not previously had endometriosis. He said that with the timing I was describing and the hardness of the lump, he is almost completely certain this is what I have. Or it might be a hernia. But he doesn't think so. Either way I need to have surgery. Before my insurance ends at the end of the month. His office called me back just before 5pm and told me that I am scheduled for Wednesday. Yes, as in less than a week from now.

Tomorrow morning I have Jacob's 6 month well check and a check up for Samantha at the same time. Then I will drop them off at the babysitter, and take myself to the hospital to pre-register and get blood drawn.

On Sunday I will move with DH and the kiddos so that we will all be in the same town again. Hooray!

On Wednesday I will come back for surgery. DH is thinking that we will make the 2.5 hour trip back to our new home AFTER my surgery. Yes, on the same day. I am not so sure about that. So I will need to talk to the doctor's office tomorrow to see what they say about it. We will need to figure out what we are going to manage to do with the kiddos. I need to figure out what to do about pumping that day.

And in the midst of all of this, I need to finish packing and move! What a crazy week!

Friday's Child

I decided that since Jacob was born on a Friday, we will have a Friday or two each month for you to enjoy his sweet little face and to hear about what he has going on. So, without further adieu, here is the first Friday's Child post.

Jacob is getting SOOO close to crawling. He will get up on all fours and rock back and forth. He will then put his head down onto the ground and move his legs forward...but his head on the ground keeps him from going anywhere. We are expecting him to crawl any day now.

He had his first sick visit at the doctor's office yesterday. He has been coughing for a couple of days now, and on the way to the doctor yesterday afternoon, I seriously started thinking that we were going to have to stop at the hospital rather than driving by to go to the doctor. Really! His cough was that bad.

We found out that he has an ear infection and pretty severe bronchiolitis (dr speak for wheezing) The doctor said that his lungs are very gunky sounding and she gave him TWO breathing treatments right there in the office in order to get him breathing well enough to have somewhat productive coughs rather than tiny gasping coughs. He will probably be diagnosed with asthma later in life, but we are hoping not. However, there is a very strong link between eczema, allergies and asthma. So he may end up with all three :(

We came home with 5 prescriptions. He will be taking an oral steroid for 5 days, have albuterol breathing treatments every 4 hours for 2 days, then 3 times per day until his cough is gone. After the oral steroid is finished, he will be on pulmicort, another breathing treatment, once per day for a minimum of 2 months, and probably all the way until he is a year old. We also got a prescription for an antibiotic to treat his ear infection and singulair which I am pretty sure is for allergies, but I don't remember for sure at this moment. Guess I will be looking at his paperwork to find out.

She also said that she is not happy with the way his eczema is responding, well actually not responding so well, to the medicine she prescribed, so she wants him to see a dermatologist. We will be trying to work that in next week before we move.

Wow...what an afternoon. I am VERY grateful that I decided to call for an appointment on Wednesday, because Jacob would have kept getting worse if we hadn't started treatment and he could have very easily ended up at the hospital if that were the case.

What is truly amazing, though, is that as long as he isn't coughing right that second, Jacob is still just as happy as ever. I am so grateful that both of my kids have been happy babies...it makes everything else so much easier.

Finding his feet...such fun little toys!




The big guy and the little guy.



Getting VERY close to crawling!



Even when he's sick we are still treated to this smile :)

His poor little face

Poor Jacob. This eczema thing is just not going away. Most of his body got WAYYYYY better since I started being so diligent about getting a good lotion all over him, very liberally, at least twice a day. (Although he has had a couple of spots pop up near his elbows in the last few days, so that might have been just a coincidence) His face, however, has just steadily gotten worse and worse. See for yourself how bad it is.

And a couple closer shots because you can't really see how bad it is on the first one.

I'm trying a couple more things. Right now, I put antibiotic ointment on his cheeks twice a day. I REALLY don't want him getting another staph infection with all the rawness and weeping that he has right now. After that has soaked in for a while, I put Aquaphor on his face. I hope it helps, but I'm not really holding my breath. There may be a dermatologist in our near future.

In spite of it all...isn't he the cutest baby boy? :)

It's here, it's here!

We have been looking forward to today for over a year, and it is finally here!

When Samantha first saw her GI doctor and started her second reflux medication, we were told that most babies outgrow their reflux about the time that they start sitting up. Well Samantha started sitting up sometime last summer, but her reflux didn't get better. The Dr. Argao said she would probably outgrow it when she started crawling. She started crawling in Novemeber, but she still didn't outgrow her reflux. So next he said that she would probably outgrow it when she was a year old, but that didn't happen either.

Dr. Argao stopped making predictions at that point and I started wondering if we had one of the 3% of children with reflux who do not outgrow it. Then Samantha suddenly started doing much better in the early spring, and I started being hopeful that we would be starting to wean her off the medication at her next GI appointment...until she started throwing up again and we had to increase the dose.

We saw Dr. Argao in June and he said that she weighed enough that we could increase the dose, but she was still doing great, so we didn't need to. He also said that when he saw her 3 months later that if we still had not increased the dose, we would be able to talk about weaning her off. So she saw Dr. Argao again yesterday...and she has had no signs of reflux. She didn't even throw up when she was hysterically crying the other day. So today we move her from 3 times a day to twice a day on her bethanachol. And if we have no problems after a week, we take her completely off it. And if we have no problems for a month after that, we give her half her dose of prevacid. Then she sees Dr. Argao in November and if everything looks good at that point, she will be off all her reflux medicines. WOOHOO!!!!

Adventures in parenting...at the hospital

It all started Tuesday night, March 10. Samantha started throwing up at about 8pm, and kept on all night long...at least every 45 minutes other than a break from 3 to 6 am, all the way through 9:15 a.m. on Wednesday. She even threw up as I was putting her in her car seat to go to the doctor's office. Dr. Ramirez said that she had a stomach flu that is going around and to expect the diarrhea to start within the next day or so. She also said that Samantha needed to stay home for 3 days, so I called in sick for the rest of the week.

Dr. Ramirez was right. The diarrhea did start that afternoon, but it didn't get bad until Friday. She continued vomitting, but only once per day on Thursday and Friday. However, we were changing her diaper and pajamas constantly on Friday because the diarrhea was so bad. At about 8:30 Friday evening, we noticed that she hardly produced any tears when she was crying, so Brent called the nurse line that we have through the insurance company. The nurse said that Samantha did need to be seen, and recommended going to an urgent care center. So we did. We chose the one that was closest to our house and got there at about 9:30p.m. Once we saw the doctor, she said that it appeared that Samantha had mild dehyrdration but that it could quickly become severe. They did not have the equipment to do a pediatric IV, so she told us that we needed to go to the ER.

That was about 10:30pm, and we went straight from the urgent care clinic to the Plano Presbyterian ER. Samantha fell asleep on the way, but woke up as soon as we walked into the lobby. We got back to a room and waited a while to see the doctor, and Samantha finally fell asleep again. Not too long after that, the doctor came in, so she had to wake up one more time to be examined by the doctor and have her IV put in. We had to wait for about an hour after that to get the result of her bloodwork. Thankfully she fell asleep while we waited. The doctor came in at about 1:30a.m. and told us that her bloodwork showed severe dehyrdation and that her bicarbonate level was low enough that she had to be admitted to the hospital. She kept on sleeping as we went up to her hospital room, but woke up when we transferred her from the ER gurney to the crib in her room at 2:20a.m. Oh well...she would have woken up a few minutes later when the nurses had to examine her, take her vitals and check her IV. They found a problem with her IV. The needle had somehow punctured the side of the catheter, so they had to take it out and put a new one in. That most definitely upset Samantha.

Everything was finally done at about 3a.m., and I began the task of trying to calm her down and get her to sleep. She wasn't happy, though. She screamed from 3 until 5. Not just crying, but actually screaming. It was horrible. Her voice is still hoarse today as a result of all the screaming she did. I could not comfort her at all. I was holding her and trying to calm her, but she kept pushing away from me and arching her back, refusing to be comforted. It was as if she didn't even know who I was. I started crying several times myself. Brent had gone home to get some sleep, and he was going to be coming back later to let me go home and sleep. I was just about to the point of calling him and saying that I needed him to come back now, when she finally fell asleep.

She slept until 6:30a.m. After that, she alternated sleeping and crying for most of the day. Thankfully she didn't scream and act like she didn't know me anymore. I'm not sure I could have handled that again. In fact, she was very clingy and wanted to be held all the time. On Saturday, she still looked awful. She didn't feel too great, either. Her face was very puffy, her eyes were just slits in her face, and she was super lethargic and still whimpering and crying. She ate a cup of Jello, but then refused to eat anything else and refused to drink anything at all. It probably didn't help much that she was on a clear liquid diet, so there really wasn't anything that she could attempt to feed herself.

The doctor came to see her that afternoon and said that we could be dealing with some other things since the IV fluids hadn't perked her up, and he ordered some tests. One of them required getting a stool sample, which we still did not manage to get by Sunday at lunchtime. At least she was over the diarrhea. The doctor also said that we didn't need to worry about her not drinking yet, that at some point hunger and thirst would win out over remembering the stomach cramping and vomitting, and in the meantime, the IV was giving her all she needed to stay hydrated. I asked if she could change to having crackers or something that she could feed herself and he said yes. That we could advance her diet as tolerated. Which meant we would start out giving her bland things like cheerios and bread, and then if she did well we could keep on moving to other foods. Samantha was very happy to have Cheerios and a banana for dinner that night, and we even got her to eat a little bit of other stuff as well.

She still wasn't drinking, though. And if we tried to push it, she got very angry with us. She slept a lot better that night, even sleeping through one or two of the times that the nurse came to check her IV. Even the times that she woke up, though, she went back to sleep quickly.

On Sunday morning she ate a huge breakfast! She had scrambled eggs, half a banana, Cheerios, a little bit of bagel and some yogurt. She still refused to drink anything, though. And we had everything out...apple juice, grape juice, pedialyte, formula and water. All in different containers...sippy cups, regular cups with straws, and a bottle. Nothing worked, though. The doctor came by midmorning and said that she could be discharged that afternoon...IF we were comfortable with her drinking. He went ahead and wrote the discharge orders, but made it conditional. If she still wouldn't drink anything, she would stay another night. He also decided to lower the amount of her IV fluids so that she would be more likely to get thirsty.

Right around lunchtime, I went home for the first time since we left Friday night and Brent stayed with Samantha. When I came back, I brought her formula from home and another sippy cup and bottle. She still refused it. I said something about the fish to Brent and Samantha heard me and kept saying "ishy" and pointed to the door each time. So we took a walk to the fish tank, and I decided to take her cup with us. We sat on the floor by the fish tank and I put her cup on the floor beside us. She FINALLY decided to pick up her cup and drink. She didn't drink a lot, only about an ounce, but she did pick it up and drink several times, so we decided that she would be OK and told the nurse that we were ready to go home. Yeah!!!

We got home at about 2pm, and within 30 minutes, she had a huge poopy diaper. It figures! Oh well, the doctor said that since she was over the vomitting and diarrhea, getting the stool sample didn't matter any more anyway.

Then during her nap, she started having lots of diarrhea again. We were definitely worried. Then she threw up. The she had another diarrhea episode, but it was smaller. Then nothing else happened other than reflux issues. I kept waking up all night to check on her, but she slept fine and didn't have any other problems. She woke up doing great on Monday morning and went to her babysitter where she had a great day. I guess that it really is all over now. Wheeeew!

Here are a few pictures of her hospital stay:

Sleeping in her crib with her IV line coming over the rail. She didn't have very much room to move around at all since they had to keep the line short enough that she couldn't get tangled in it. It was definitely tricky getting her into a good position in the crib.

A close up of her sleeping in the crib. I'm almost glad she kept her lambie in front of her face while she was sleeping. She really did look bad, and I would kind of like to forget about that.

Sitting on Daddy's lap on Sunday morning. She was still lethargic and clingy, but she was definitely much improved and looking more like her normal self.

Playing with the music table after getting her IV out. She was almost completely back to normal at this point :)

Even babies wear hospital gowns in the hospital...and their hineys stick out of the gowns a lot...see the diaper poking out the back. At least it is cute on a baby :)!

Camparison pics and surgery update

Samantha had surgery this morning to have ear tubes put in. We left the house at 5am, drove very slowly, sometimes only 20 mph, through very dense fog and arrived at the Pediatric Surgery Center at 5:25am. Samantha left me to go to the OR at 6:39am, and at 6:47, her doctor came out and said that they were finished and that we would be back together in about 10 minutes.

I never realized until today that I would actually be able to distinguish my baby's cry from that of many other wailing babies, but as soon as I heard her, I knew it was my child. The surgery went well and there were no problems. Samantha does apparantly have her mama's issues with coming out of anesthesia, though, because she cried inconsolably until we left the sugery center at 7:35a. Then she continued to whimper until we pulled onto our street, which was when she finally fell asleep. We were in our driveway at 7:45am. WOW! That was a quick morning. Everything seems to be going well. Now we are looking forward to no more ear infections and we are hoping for an increased appetite.

Since I am home with Samantha today following her surgery for ear tubes, and since she is taking a 2+ hour nap right now, I have been working on organizing our pictures a little bit more. I came across this one of me with my mom and my grandparents, and suddenly realized that Samantha does actually have some resemblence to me! I don't know exactly how old I was in this picture, but given my size, and the fact that my brother, who is 14 months younger than me, is not in the picture, I would venture to guess that I was about the same age that Samantha is now. So then I went looking for a picture of her that looks similar, but the one here was the closest I could find. What do you think? Do you see any resemblence?

I may have to keep looking for a picture that looks more similar. And I will post one of Brent's baby pics for comparison, too.

Good news!

Brent took Samantha to the doctor on Monday afternoon and she was finally over her ear infections. Hooray! Her weight gain was not so good. Only 6 ounces since November 18. But she has had an ear infection that whole time, too. So hopefully she will start gaining more.

But the REALLY good news is that Dr Ramirez told us that Samantha does now qualify to have tubes. So she sent us to an ENT, I called yesterday morning and we had an appointment yesterday afternoon. Now I am waiting for the surgery coordinator to call me sometime today so that we can get the procedure scheduled. He said that it will be no problem to get it done before the end of the year, in fact we should be able to get it done in the next week or week and a half. Hooray!

Please be praying for this to really work out quickly and for Samantha to start gaining weight again.

Award time

Is there an opposite of hypochondriac? If so that's apparently the type of mom I am this week. In fact I should get an award for it. But let me start at the beginning rather than the end... First look at the picture. Look very closely.



Yep, Samantha got her first booboo today. She fell at the babysitters house and got a big bump on her forehead and scraped up her nose. The red nose is not from crying, that is the scrape on it. And if you look very closely at the upper left part of her forhead, you will see a long rectangular bruise. It's hard to see in the picture, but boy is it obvious in person. And it has a big bump on the far left side of it.

I called the doctor's office to see if I should bring her in and the nurse said that I should since she has a bump on her forehead. When we got to the doctor's office, Nurse Sharon took one look at her and said "Daddy's not gonna be happy!" I couldn't help but agree.

Anyway, Dr. Ramirez came in and examined her and said that she didn't think the head stuff was anything to worry about. However, she asked me about her runny nose, is she coughing, etc. I told her how we have been doing the last several days (not well at all!!!!) and that I think it is just allergies since both Brent and I are have bigtime allergy problems right now and since Samantha is only coughing at night. She decided to do an RSV swab. She was almost completely certain that it would come back positive. And she told me that Samantha has a double ear infection. And she teasingly told me "She has to throw herself off the couch to get you to bring her in for her ear infections, huh?"

In just two short months, I have gone from the mom who took her baby to the doctor only to hear "She's teething and she is absolutely fine" to the mom doesn't take the baby to the doctor when she has a double ear infection and a massive cold.

Really, I thought it was just allergies. And she only had a fever for a couple of hours one evening and it went away on its own! And she never acted like her ears were bothering her. How was I to know?

The good news is that Samantha does NOT have RSV. Dr. Ramirez thinks that she has been unable to get over the cold because of the ear infections, and that since we are now starting antibiotics, the ears should clear up and we should see a vast improvement in the cold in a few days. Then maybe we will all get some sleep again.

And hopefully I will figure out some good middle ground on when to go to the doctor.

January - coming home

I was released from the hospital on 1/12. I went home with a catheter still in place to be sure that my bladder had plenty of time to heal. It was scheduled to be removed on 1/21/08. I guess they don’t see something like that very often, because when I cam back to visit Samantha, some of the NICU nurses asked Samantha’s nurse “Is that mom STILL in the hospital?”

1/12/08 was also the first day that Samantha was strong enough to take ALL of her feedings by bottle rather than having half or more by tube. And she pulled her feeding tube out halfway through the day, prompting her nurse to tell her that she had better take all of her bottles that day so that she wouldn’t have to re-insert the tube. That afternoon her doctor said that she would be able to go home on Tuesday, 1/15. It was very hard to go home without her, but at least we knew a date for her to come home. And it turns out that being home for a couple days without her was very good for my body to continue healing.

On Monday night, I was SOOOO nervous about taking Samantha home. I had become dependent on having her hooked up to monitors to watch her heart rate and her breathing, and I was terrified that I wouldn’t do as good a job of taking care of her as the nurses had. All of the nurses were very re-assuring, though and told us that we would be just fine. The hospital does have a very cool program for NICU parents called rooming in. So Monday night, Brent and I spent the night in a parent room just outside the NICU and Samantha stayed with us. She was off all of her monitors, but the nurse still checked in with us a couple times during the night and was just a few steps away down the hall, and we could also call from our room. That went a long way toward boosting our confidence. I wonder, do parents who have their baby with them from day one feel so inadequate at the thought of taking their sweetheart home? Or is that a special feeling for NICU parents? Perhaps someday I will be able to answer that question. Or will I not have a true answer because of my previous experience? I may never know that answer.

Something funny happened while we were at the hospital the night before Samantha’s homecoming. I ran into an old friend. Kim had called for someone to prepare Samantha’s security leg band that prevents her from being taken from the hospital. She didn’t need one prior to that since the NICU is secure, but the parent room was just outside the NICU, no longer secure. Anyway, the lady who prepares the bands came into the room and spoke to Kim. As she left, I turned to Kim and asked if the lady’s name is Kathryn. Kim answered yes and I told her that I went to high school with Kathryn and that we were on the swim team together. She called Kathryn back and asked what high school she went to. When she answered San Angelo Central, I came out and told her my maiden name. We hugged and spent a fun few minutes catching up. That was really cool!

Brent only had one day of vacation before his anniversary date at work, January 21, so he took off 1/8/08, but then had to go back to work. So even though he stayed with me on Monday night in the parent room, he had to leave at 5am to go back to work. His mom came to pick me and Samantha up at the hospital later that morning. By the time we were finished with everything there, it was already time for my OB/GYN appointment, so we went straight from the hospital to my doctor’s office. Brent met us there, so he was able to be with me as we took Samantha home for the first time. That made me very happy because I wanted us to all come home as a family, and I got my wish. And so we had a new beginning as a family of three all together for the first time.

January - in the hospital

Brent went with Samantha to the NICU as soon as she was delivered and she started out with a few problems...being on a CPAP machine, oxygen and a feeding tube. I stayed in the OR with my doctors for a couple more hours. It seems that, once again, I had things going on with my body that the doctors don’t normally see. My colon rectal doctor was in the room “just in case” because of my having a problem a couple of years prior in which my small intestine was adhered to my uterus. There was nothing that he had to take care of this time, so he just stayed near my head and was my cheerleader during the procedure, asking me “How are you doing kiddo?” and telling the anesthesiologist when I needed more stuff in my IV. They did have to call an urologist to come and take care of a little problem. You see, this time, my bladder was completely adhered to my uterus from top to bottom (That would explain those emergency room and doctor visits earlier in my pregnancy.) and my OB had to cut through my bladder to get the baby out. Fun, fun! The urologist later commented that he had never seen anything like that before. That didn’t faze me at all, though. I am used to doctors saying things like that to me. What I don’t often hear is that something is completely normal. Poor Brent had no idea what was going on. He kept going back and forth from the NICU to my room, expecting to see me there. All my nurse could tell him was that she didn’t know of any complications. So he just had lots of time to worry before they were finally finished stitching me up and he was able to find out what happened.

Once I got back to my room, I kept bugging my nurse about being able to see Samantha, but I was still on the magnesium and could not even get out of bed while I was still on it. I continued to stay very high risk – I even had my own one on one nurse - until Tuesday evening when I finally got off the magnesium. Sometime on Tuesday, a lactation consultant came to see me and show me how to use a pump so that I could pump milk for Samantha, but I really don’t remember anything about her visit, other than the fact that I told her that I would not remember anything she said and that she replied that was OK and she would send someone to see me again the next day. I also very vaguely remember having Patsy and Lezley come to visit me. Apparently they were both there for quite some time, but honestly, I barely even remember that they were there at all.

I thought that I would get to see Samantha once I was off the magnesium, but I was moved from L&D to post partum and my new nurses would not let me go yet. By the time I got to go see her on Wednesday at lunch time, she only had the feeding tube. I cried on the way to see her when the lactation consultant asked me if this was the first time I would see her. Once I got to her pod, her nurse put her into my arms and suddenly it was like there was no one else anywhere around. The entire world was reduced to just the two of us. What an amazing experience holding your child for the first time is! She looked so tiny to us, but one of her nurses kept saying that she was four times the size of her other baby. I guess it is all about perspective.

In the NICU Samantha had “touch times” at 2:30, 5:30, 8:30, and 11:30 am and pm. This is a set of times when she would be held, have her temp taken, be diapered and fed. My favorite time to go see her was for her 5:30am touch time. The NICU was practically deserted at that time of day with basically just the nurses there and usually everything seemed to be quiet with the babies at that time as well. I would attempt to nurse her, then either feed her as much of her bottle as she could take herself then hold her as she received the rest by gavage, or just hold her while she was gavage fed. I would sing to her and not be worried that I was disturbing anyone else. It was such a peaceful time each day. The strange thing about the NICU is that time seems to move so differently there. I would feel like I had just arrived, but in reality would be there for a couple of hours. I quickly learned to save a piece of fruit and some yogurt from one of my meals to take with me down there to tide me over until I got back to my room and ordered breakfast. I didn’t know until after Samantha was released that I was not supposed to have any food or drink other than water in the NICU, and her nurses never said anything to me. I read the rules after she came home with us and I was sorting through papers. Oops!

Samantha’s nurses were fantastic! She had the same day nurse from Wednesday until Sunday, her name was Andrea. All of the nurses watched out for me and my health, but Andrea was especially vigilant. She paid attention to how I looked and sounded and reminded me to go take my blood pressure medicine. She also told me several times that I needed to be sure to take time to rest, that I would not help my baby if I wore myself out by trying to be in the NICU all of the time. She reminded me that if I didn’t make sure that I took care of myself, I would not be able to care for my baby. It was hard advice to take, but it was good advice, and I am grateful to her for it. Brittany was Samantha’s night nurse for most of the week, and she was great, too. As were Gracy, Kim, Becky and Dru. You could not ask for better people to take care of your child.

I don’t know how I managed this, but I didn’t think about taking pictures of the NICU staff or Samantha’s pod until the night before she was to go home. So we only have pictures of Kim and Brittany. I don’t really know why I didn’t think to take pictures sooner. I think that is the only time in my life that I have not been jumping in to take pictures. That was so unlike me. We had the camera there, and we took pictures of Samantha and of her visitors, why not her caregivers? I guess because it was too scary before that…we didn’t have answers, we didn’t know when she would come home…once we did, we wanted to be sure to remember what had taken place. Before that, we would like to forget that our baby didn’t enter the world the same as most babies. And taking pictures would just make it more real and unforgettable…if that is even possible.

the birth story

As I stated in my inaugural post, the biggest reason fo my having a blog is to get some of my journaling done and have it all in the same place so that I can find it later. So that means that I need to go back and journal some of the last several months, I have started working on that in a word document and quickly realized that it will be WAAAAAYYYY too much for one post, so this post will be the beginning (sort of, since technically the beginning was sometime last year) and I will continue to add a few more about the first six months as time permits. This is your fair warning that if you wouldn't be interested in reading my scrapbooks, you won't be interested in this post. Don't say I didn't warn you.

It has been an exciting and sometimes scary time. It started with me calling my OB from my in-laws house on Christmas Eve when I lost my mucus plug. After asking me questions about what else was happening physically, the doctor asked where I was (b/c he was going to have me come in to the office) and then after finding out I was 2.5 hours away, his next question was if there was a hospital nearby and if they have an OB unit. But then he re-assured me that losing the plug did not mean that labor was imminent and told me to call him back if anything else happened.

Nothing else happened and I went to my regular check-up on Friday, 1/4/08. The nurse came in and took my vital signs, then left the room and came back in looking very serious. She told me to lie down on my left side for 10 minutes and that she would come back in to take my blood pressure again. She came back in and didn’t look any happier with the result. Then my normally extremely jovial doctor came in with a very serious look on his face and didn’t make any jokes at all and took my blood pressure. He felt my abdomen and looked very surprised and told me that I do not have a small baby. In fact he was estimating six pounds…and I wasn’t due until 2/13! He then told me that I was on bed rest for the weekend and that I was to come back on Monday morning. He said that the bed rest meant lying in bed except to eat or to use the restroom. He also said that I shouldn’t be surprised if I had the baby in the next week. I told him that was NOT happening b/c it was too early. He didn’t say anything else. I did get permission to go to my baby shower the next day since it was only 5 minutes from my house and I promised to only stay for 2 hours and to sit with my feet up the whole time.

You would think that being on bed rest would mean that you would feel very well rested. That is SOOO not the case! In fact I was more exhausted than I had been at any other point in my pregnancy. Of course, some of that may have been due to the elevated blood pressure, but lying in bed for 2 days is most definitely NOT relaxing. I was very sick of it just by Saturday morning. And I had to keep it up until Monday morning.

It was definitely a relief to get out of the house to go to my baby shower. I felt so rude at the baby shower, walking in and immediately sitting down rather than mingling with everyone…but they all understood and were very nice to me. And it was great to be out of the house and seeing so many of my friends and family.

After the shower, Kathy and my mom brought everything into my room and starting sorting for me. We made a list of things that I didn’t have yet that would be necessary right after the baby was born, and they took my checkbook and went shopping for me. Then they organized a whole lot in the baby’s room and got some stuff set up for me. Thank goodness they were there to do that for me, because I would have been unable to do it myself for quite some time.

I went back to the doctor on Monday and my bp was even higher. 180/112. I knew that was bad, but I didn’t know until about 6 weeks later that I was at a very high risk of having a stroke because of that. So the doctor told me to go home, pack a bag and go to the hospital where I would be under observation, get some blood work done and possibly spend the night. Of course, I was so naïve (although I like to call it being optimistic) that I thought I would be going home by the next day. My family took me to the hospital, but then had to leave to go back to San Angelo. Kathy had to pick up Benjamin from the friends house who had already kept him for an extra day and dad had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday. After they left at about 2pm, I slept until Brent got there after work.

At some point, I can’t remember if it was before or after my OB got here, Mike Collodi came to visit. He commented that we got the low end of the minister pool. I don’t think so, we appreciated him being there. Especially since he kept Brent company while I continued to snooze off and on.

When the doctor came that afternoon and saw the result of my blood work, he said that I had bad liver enzyme levels and that meant I actually had preeclampsia, not just high blood pressure. He asked how I felt about having the baby that night. I just looked at him and said, “You’re kidding, right?” He didn’t say anything and I told him that I couldn’t have the baby yet, it was too soon. He didn’t answer but then started asking about when I last had anything solid to eat and when I last had liquids. Then he told me that he would call my colon rectal doctor who would need to be in the operating room just in case and as long as that doctor was available, we would have the baby at 9pm.

The rest of the day was a huge blur…probably due to the yucky magnesium sulfate they put in my IV as a seizure preventative. I could feel it going through my veins when they started it in my IV. It felt like there was fire inside my body and spreading all over. I said that I wanted to sit in a bathtub of ice…and I really meant it. I still ask Brent questions about what happened that day and the next because I just couldn’t remember anything it seemed. Our sweet baby girl joined us via emergency C-section on Monday, 1/7/08 at 9:31pm weighing 5 lbs 13 oz and measuring 18 inches. And she was 5 weeks early!! She didn’t have a name because Brent and I had not agreed on one yet. Neither of us liked the other person’s top choices, so she didn’t have a first name until sometime on Tuesday, and we didn’t decide on her middle name until Wednesday evening…after the medical records person called and said that she had to submit the information to the state so we had to have a name by 8:30 the next morning. We did finally agree on Samantha Grace and now we can’t imagine her being anyone else. We chose her middle name because God showed us His grace in bringing her into our lives.