Blessings?

A couple months ago, Brent and I were talking about blessings, or, more specifically, how we say that we are blessed when something good happens or when something goes our way.

I had been thinking...and mentioned to Brent, that if that is the case, if we say that God is faithful, that he has blessed us, when good things happen or when we barely miss being in a wreck or when someone we love is healed, what does that mean for someone that didn't have those same things happen?

Does that mean that God didn't bless my friend whose baby died? Did he choose not to bless my friend whose husband was unfaithful and left her, then took custody of their children and who then found out she had cancer? Did he decide not to bless the woman whose husband died of cancer and who was left to raise two young children on her own? And if he didn't, why didn't he?

And if I say that I have been blessed with the good things that happen or the bad things that are avoided, what does that say to the person who is enduring hardship or tragedy? What does it say to the person who didn't have that good thing happen in their life? Am I being sensitive to their needs and feelings? Am I, in essence, rubbing their face in their lack of blessing?

How is this seeming randomness of blessings possible with a just and loving God?

Yes, I know, we live in a world that is fallen, that is affected by sin, in which people choose to ignore God and choose to hurt others...but I still struggle with this whole idea of blessing. I cannot understand how God chooses, even, or maybe especially, among people who are faithful, who to bless and who not to bless on earth. I have been completely unable to wrap my mind around this concept. Something is just not right to my way of thinking. Am I missing something? Or do I just not understand God? (Of course the answer is that I don't understand God, no one does, but what I guess what I mean is really "Is what understanding that I do have of God actually that flawed?")

These are things that I have been wrestling with in my mind for a while.

Then about a month ago, I read this blog post, by a woman whose husband suddenly died while she was pregnant with their 3rd child, with a link to Laura Story's song called "Blessings" in it. Then I heard the song on the radio last week. Then last Sunday, in Bible class, our preacher referred to someone commenting that God is faithful after his wife was unharmed during a terrible storm in which many lost their lives. And he mentioned that he wonders what that says to all the people who lost their loved ones. And that made me think about the whole blessings disconnect again. Then I saw a link to the same song on another blog. And now I have been hearing the song nearly every time I get in the car. It's like this song is knocking at my heart to tell me something. Or maybe God is using it to try to teach me something.


Lyrics:
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise


So I read the lyrics again. And after I listened to the song again, I listened to a couple of videos in which the singer/writer is talking about where the song comes from and what it means.

Talking about the song


Talking about the album


And I wrote down this statement that Laura made. "Are we going to judge God based on our circumstances that we don't understand, or are we going to choose to judge our circumstances based on what we hold to be true about God?" Wow. That most definitely takes some thinking about.

Then I also saw a different blog post, with a link to a speaker, Francis Chan, speaking on a completely different topic, but also saying some of the same sort of things about our not understanding God...that we don't have all the answers. That maybe God knows something that we don't. It gave me even more to think about.


And I have begun to wonder...maybe the blessings are not the things we have, the circumstances that surround us, the requests that are granted, but maybe the blessing is simply being God's child and having him love and comfort us. Maybe it is his faithfulness in never leaving us, and always remaining where we can return to him no matter how often we walk away and no matter how long we are gone from him. Or maybe it is a little of everything. I have a feeling that I will be continuing to ponder this for some time to come.