Nervous

It's getting closer and closer to Brent's last weekday with us. And I am getting very nervous.

I am very concerned about being at work all day, then coming home to try to play with, feed, bathe and put to bed two children, one of whom is a nursing infant. And all this needs to be done within 2 hours of my getting home from work. And supposedly, I will be getting some packing done also. Umm...yeah...I see that happening. Well, maybe during my lunch hour.

I am in awe of single mothers who do this all the time and who have no choice in the matter. We are at least making the choice for this. Granted it is the only smart choice, but it is a choice nonetheless. I am so incredibly nervous about it. I don't want to be a single mom, even for only 5 days a week. Even for a short time...5 weeks to be exact. And I don't want my daughter to cry (or throw temper tantrums) because she misses her Daddy. But I know that will be coming.

We started telling Samantha the other day that Daddy will be working a lot so we won't see him for several days at a time, but then he will be back at home when he isn't working. Last night, after Brent told her this again, apparantly she thought he was already gone. After she got in bed, she was crying and I went to check on her. She told me "Daddy gone" in a very sad little voice with her tiny whimpers. I told her that he isn't gone yet, that there are still a few more days before he will be gone, and he will be sure that he says bye-bye to her before he leaves. She was OK after that.

It makes me quite nervous for when he is actually gone though.

On the bright side, we were able to skype with my sister and mom last night, so hopefully Brent will be able to get it to work on his dad's computer so that we can skype with him each evening. Oooo...I just had a BRILLIANT thought. We will have Brent take some books with him so that he can read a book to Samantha as we skype. That would be great! Especially since he is the one who usually reads stories to her at night.

For the next couple of days, I will try not to think about how close Sunday afternoon actually is. And I will try to get as much packing as I can finished before then, too. But I still have butterflies in my stomach right now. I can't imagine what it will feel like on Sunday. Probably like a herd of elephants in my stomach then.