We were driving near the mall one day when Samantha asked "What that, Mommy?" I lokked over and told her that it was a fountain. Instead of repeating the word I told her, like she normally does, she told me "Water dancing, Mommy." And she's right, a fountain is just like the water is dancing. What a neat way to see things :)
I am smack dab in the middle of my first week back at work (I started on Tuesday, so this is day 3 of 4) since having Jacob. And today is my first day of tears. I think it's just because I am more tired after working a couple of days...and not having any down time during the day. I miss my kids. I miss my home. I miss being home when Brent comes in the door and Samantha runs excitedly yelling "Daddy home!" I even miss dishes and laundry and the mess that Samantha makes while eating lunch and toys all over the house...oh wait, she makes a mess during dinner and there are still toys all over the house ;)
I know, I'm being a little whiny today...or maybe a lot whiny today. I have been here before, and I know that it will get better. I know that we will find a new normal. And then when we become accustomed to the new normal, there will be more changes. And we will adapt to those. And every day won't be hard. But right now it is.
So for right now, I am reminding myself of the positives. Samnatha LOVES Mrs. Nancy and is excited to go to her house every day. She doesn't even fuss at all when I leave for work. Nancy loves the children in her care and keeps them all in her prayers. Nancy lives close to us, so it doesn't take long to get the kids after work. I work close to home, so there is a lot less time I am away from the kids most days. I am grateful for a good childcare situation where Samantha has friends close to her age and has children older and younger. And Jacob has a lot of big girls who are all excited to see "the baby" every day.
We will have other new beginnings in our lives...some will be happy and some will be sad. They will all be something different and they will all require us to adapt. So I will keep trying to adapt quickly. And I will remember to keep looking for the positives.
Samnatha, along with most young children, says "Hold you" when she wants one of us to hold or carry her. And she extends this cute gramatical error to asking to hold Jacob, saying "Mommy (or Daddy), hold you, brother." She absolutely adores her brother, and I want to keep it that way as long as possible, so I say yes nearly every time she asks. Unfortunately, I don't often get to take pictures because I am usually helping her hold Jacob. This time, Brent was there, though, so I was able to get a couple of adorable shots in.
A couple other funny things worth mentioning about this sibling relationship:
When we ask Samantha what the baby's name is, she answers "Brother" We then ask "is his name Jacob?" She replies, "No. Brother. Mine Brother!" She may not allow him his own identity, but at least she does claim him :)
When Jacob cries, she will go near him and sing Twinkle Twinkle to help him stop crying. Someday we will get this on video...I hope!
Lately, it seems that Samantha thinks it is her job to clean Jacob up. If he spits up, she will spend the next hour trying to wipe his face with a burp cloth...I REALLY have to watch her closely.
She also tries to help me burp him...unfortunately, she doesn't really understand how to be gentle in doing so, so I am constantly having to tell her not to do it :(
She is very good about sharing her toys with him. For example, while I was nursing him in Samantha's room this morning, she brought all her favorite babies and animals over and placed them all over and around me and Jacob, saying each time that she brought another one "Here, Brother" And I ought to mention that Lambie and blankie were the first two items she piled on us. That really says A LOT, since generally, no other children or babies are allowed to touch them without her having a major fit.
I was working on the computer in the morning on 2/11/10, and when Samantha woke up, she crawled into my bed to drink her milk. She loves to look at the window when she is on our bed, and this day was no exception. She looked out and told me "Snowing, Mommy!" I looked out and sure enough, she was right. The snow was coming down hard and there were several inches on the ground. She and I got dressed quickly so that we could go outside as soon as Jacob went to sleep for his first morning nap (thank goodness for baby monitors that can run on batteries and work in the front yard!)
We had lots of fun, and she was definitely not happy about coming inside. I told her that we could go back out later...after her nap and after Daddy got home. She wanted to go out again so badly, that at 12:30, she asked me to put her down for her nap. This is the child who always protests at going to sleep...and she normally doesn't go down until between 1:30 and 2!
The snow kept coming down all day...and continued for most of the night. We woke up to an amazing sight on Friday morning after a record 12.5 inches of snow fell. It was absolutely beautiful! And then it was so much fun to play in!
2/11/10 at 9:30am
2/11/10 at 4:30pm
2/12/10 at 7:40am
2/13/10 at 3:00pm
We are sad to see the end of the snow, but that's also the best part about living in Texas...even when we get an incredible snow day, the roads clear up very quickly and we are not stuck for long :)
It's been another month with Jacob. How the time flies!!! He has been working hard on his social skills this month and smiled for the first time on 1/14/10 and cooed (not really sure how to spell that, maybe I should just say started cooing?) for the first time on 1/25/10. He has come close to laughing but hasn't quite gotten that down yet...I'm sure it will be soon, though!
During this month, we had a visit from Aunt Kathy, Benjamin, Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa, and we traveled to Staci and Dave's house for Amilia's baby shower on 1/30/10. While we were in College Station, we weighed Jacob on Staci's scale and he was 14.2 lbs. Man oh man, what a big boy! He outgrew the bassinet at 6 weeks and he started wearing some 3-6 month clothes the last couple days of January because some of the 0-3 month clothes didn't want to snap anymore. His body is getting really long! I don't have his official length and weight yet because his doctor's appointment was cancelled due to the snow. I will add a line at the end of this post once I have his stats. 
We also had Jacob's baby shower on 2/6/10, and had a wonderful time visiting with friends and being spoiled. He even cooperated by being in a good mood and/or sleeping almost the entire time. Woohoo! 
Jacob is great at eating (like you couldn't already tell that from his weight!) and is starting to go a little longer in between feedings in the afternoon and evening...in fact, he will generally eat once after lunch, then nap for a while and eat 2-3 more times before we go to bed around 9pm. (this is MUCH better then the every hour feedings we were doing before!) He gets up to eat 2-3 times during the night, so we put him in bed with us so that I can get a little more sleep. 
(This picture reminds me quite a bit of Samantha as a baby. The next picture is of her at about 2 months)
My plan is to put him in his own bed to sleep once he is only eating once each night. During the day, he takes naps in his own bed, but since he started protesting being swaddled, he wasn't sleeping for very long at all during his naps. He was getting grouchy and it was driving me crazy, but he slept great if he was laying on my chest...so I started thinking...and decided to try letting him sleep on his tummy. Now he sleeps well for his naps again. I know, I know, you are SUPPOSED to put babies to sleep on their backs...and I still do that at night, but I figured that during the day when I can check on him regularly, that it would be OK for him to be on his tummy. We are both much happier this way!
His eyes are still blue for the time being, but I'm not holding my breath about them staying blue...I guess we'll see what happens.
Here are several attempts at capturing his adorable smile on camera...I kept getting close, but couldn't quite get it right!
Don't you just love how cute he is when he folds his lip like that?!
It's been a great month with our baby boy and we are looking forward to what the future brings :)
OK, so at Jacob's appointment, he weighed 14lbs 15oz (above the 95th%, Samantha was 15lbs 1.5oz at 10 months!) was 23.5 inches (75th%) and his head was 14.5 inches (50%) The doctor was really NOT happy about me putting him down even for a nap on his tummy, so we have been working on keeping him on his back or side for naps. But now he doesn't sleep for very long at all again...unless he is held or sleeping beside one of us. Hopefully he adjusts before too much longer!
Today was Jacob's baby shower. It was a wonderful time of celebrating our sweet boy with friends. But my heart also ached.
My friend Angie, one of the hostesses, couldn't be there because she lost her baby on Monday. Her second pregnancy was in 2007, and in July of that year, while I was pregnant with Samantha, she lost her Baby Girl because her umbilical cord got so severly twisted that the tiny baby had no oxygen and no nutrients. My sweet friend didn't want to have to tell me about that news because she didn't want me to worry that the same thing would happen to me. Then Angie had Tanner in the summer of 2008 and we rejoiced in him. This was her fourth pregnancy, a happy surprise. They just told us that they were having another baby a couple of weeks ago. But a blood clot developed in the umbilical cord and the baby died as a result. I found out on Tuesday morning and she went into labor that afternoon. She was 11.5 weeks. She had almost 2 months of dreaming of meeting this new baby later this year. And now she has to wait a lifetime to do so. My heart aches for her, for Michael and for their 2 sons.
Sheryl was one of the hostesses at Samantha's baby shower. She and Ann made a beautiful cake together. There were many times this fall when I missed Sheryl's presence, knowing that she would have been there if she were still alive. I am sure that she would have been a hostess for Jacob's baby shower as well. And she and Ann would have made another beautiful cake together. Ann did a wonderful job on her own...I loved the cake...but I still miss Sheryl. Sheryl died on August 11. Jacob was born on Dec 11. Each month when I celebrate another month with my son...I will also be marking another month without my friend. My heart aches for Mark, and for me missing my friend.
And I miss my other babies...especially the one who would have been Jacob's twin. I really thought that I was pregnant with both of them before the first sonogram. And I really had a hard time dealing with the news that there was only one baby. I wanted both of them. And my heart aches that I will not hold that other baby in my arms on this earth. Even as I rejoice in my sweet, healthy son.
This morning as I snuggled Samantha (something she rarely allows me to do) I told her that I love her. of course, being a two year old whose favorite word is no, she replied "no!" Here is the conversation that followed C: "Yes, I do love you. I will always love you. Even if you make me mad, or you get in trouble. I will always love you no matter what." S: "Again" C:"I will always love you, no matter what" S: "Again" (this repeated several times) C: "I will ALWAYS love you" S:"atter what" C:"That's right, no matter what" :)
