The End...The Beginning

I started this on Friday, which was my last day in the office. I didn't get much written, though, so I am sharing it with you today...on my last official day of work.

I am unofficially done at my job. My keys and badge are turned in, and I have clocked out for the last time. My office is cleaned of my personal belongings. I will not be going there again unless it is to visit. Today is my last official day of my job...tomorrow I will no longer be a Denton County employee.

I was surprised that when I signed my separation form several weeks ago, I got a bit teary. And then when I drove back from Denton last week, after turning in my keys and my badge, I flat out cried for a third of the drive. And when I went around my buidling saying goodbye to my co-workers I was crying even more.

I've said before that I just don't do well with change. That is still true. Even changes that I am looking forward to. It takes me a while to adjust. And I will miss seeing all those people that I have been working with for the last nine years. That's a long time...about a fourth of my life, actually.

This is the end. The end of hearing horror stories about things that happen that we deal with. The end of having those horror stories to share. The end of forcing myself to keep going when I am overwhelmed and need a vacation. The end of saying over and over that I am here to try to make a difference. The end of having a potentially huge impact that I have had just by the nature of working with so many kids and families. This is the end.

But it is also the beginning. The beginning of being the main influence in my own children's lives. The beginning of being with them every day and being the guardian of what they are exposed to. The beginning of being their teacher every day. (No I'm not talking about homeschooling, they are only 2.5 and 6 months!) The beginning of being able to share all of their discoveries and triumphs just by the nature of spending so much time with them. The beginning of being a mom the way I have always wanted to. At home with my children. This is a new beginning.

Monday's Child

Samantha's hair is just long enough that it gets into her face all the time. She doesn't usually want to leave a bow in for more than an hour or so, but she did consent to let me put a ponytail in. The first time, she took it out after about 5 minutes. The second time, she left it in all afternoon though. And she has continued to let me giver her a ponytail each day so far. We'll see if it lasts. Doesn't she look cute with her little "Pebbles" do? And what a sweet picture of her with her daddy. It just makes me smile.



Samantha came crawling down the hall like this and said "Me a turtle." I said, "Yes you are, aren't you."



On Saturday, we couldn't find Lambie when it was time for Samantha's nap. After she and I both searched high and low, I finally got the spare lambie out of my closet and gave it to her. I figured that I would find the other one while she was sleeping and get it put away before she woke up. I didn't find it. And I don't know where it was, but Samantha came into the living room after her nap and told Brent "Me have both lambies!" She was smiling big time and had lots of fun playing with both lambies for the rest of the afternoon and even insisted that Lambie and "Other Lambie" both needed to come in the car with us.
While she was pre-occupied with visiting with our friends and playing in the dirt at the lake, Brent moved one of the lambies to the front floorboard with some other things on top of it. The plan was to see if she would forget about the second one while she was distracted and it was out of sight. She didn't say anything at all. Until we got back home, that is. Brent gave her Lambie to go to bed and she asked for the other Lambie. He told her that she didn't need it and she said OK and went to bed. She hasn't asked for it again...maybe she has forgotten that there are two? (Crossing my fingers!)



Sleeping in the car on the way home from church after a VERY busy weekend.

Friday's Child

I decided that since Jacob was born on a Friday, we will have a Friday or two each month for you to enjoy his sweet little face and to hear about what he has going on. So, without further adieu, here is the first Friday's Child post.

Jacob is getting SOOO close to crawling. He will get up on all fours and rock back and forth. He will then put his head down onto the ground and move his legs forward...but his head on the ground keeps him from going anywhere. We are expecting him to crawl any day now.

He had his first sick visit at the doctor's office yesterday. He has been coughing for a couple of days now, and on the way to the doctor yesterday afternoon, I seriously started thinking that we were going to have to stop at the hospital rather than driving by to go to the doctor. Really! His cough was that bad.

We found out that he has an ear infection and pretty severe bronchiolitis (dr speak for wheezing) The doctor said that his lungs are very gunky sounding and she gave him TWO breathing treatments right there in the office in order to get him breathing well enough to have somewhat productive coughs rather than tiny gasping coughs. He will probably be diagnosed with asthma later in life, but we are hoping not. However, there is a very strong link between eczema, allergies and asthma. So he may end up with all three :(

We came home with 5 prescriptions. He will be taking an oral steroid for 5 days, have albuterol breathing treatments every 4 hours for 2 days, then 3 times per day until his cough is gone. After the oral steroid is finished, he will be on pulmicort, another breathing treatment, once per day for a minimum of 2 months, and probably all the way until he is a year old. We also got a prescription for an antibiotic to treat his ear infection and singulair which I am pretty sure is for allergies, but I don't remember for sure at this moment. Guess I will be looking at his paperwork to find out.

She also said that she is not happy with the way his eczema is responding, well actually not responding so well, to the medicine she prescribed, so she wants him to see a dermatologist. We will be trying to work that in next week before we move.

Wow...what an afternoon. I am VERY grateful that I decided to call for an appointment on Wednesday, because Jacob would have kept getting worse if we hadn't started treatment and he could have very easily ended up at the hospital if that were the case.

What is truly amazing, though, is that as long as he isn't coughing right that second, Jacob is still just as happy as ever. I am so grateful that both of my kids have been happy babies...it makes everything else so much easier.

Finding his feet...such fun little toys!




The big guy and the little guy.



Getting VERY close to crawling!



Even when he's sick we are still treated to this smile :)

About Water

I've been reading Robert Fulghum's "What on Earth Have I Done?" You might recognize his name from "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" and my favorite "It was on Fire When I Lay Down on It" Mr. Fulghum can make you bust a gut laughing (which is why my favorite is "It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It") and he can really make you think. And this most recent book (at least the most recent that I am reading) is really making me think.

The following poem is chapter 37.

Are you reading these words
Because you've been looking
For something?
Something to hold onto?
A talisman for this day?
Reading this, like walking
Up a dry streambed in September?
Looking for something for your pocket;
A keepsake for taking home;
Kindling to start the fire of memory;
Looking for whatever the flash floods
Of August have picked up, polished,
Washed down and offer you now:
Smooth stones, sanded sticks,
Feathers, bones, seeds,
And unspeakable sounds
That break the logjam of being.
Are you walking up the dry bed
Of this poem looking
For something like that?
To have, to hold, to keep?

Stop.
Go Back.
Wait until the big storm comes in you.
Be here when the flood flashes through.
Stand in the water as deep as you dare.
If what the water does is lost on you,
Then you are truly lost.
Wait.
Stand until you know
What water does.
Hold onto that.
Finder's keeper's.


So what do you think? What does this poem say to you?

I Do It Me-self

No! Me!

Me do it!

No do myself!

No! I do it!

We hear these phrases around our house all. the. time.

While we are glad to have Samantha growing and developing and learning, constantly hearing these phrases can get quite tiring. Our baby girl is most definitely asserting her independence. And that sometimes gets very frustrating. Like the other day when she wanted to put a bow in her hair.

She would not let me touch the bow at all to show her how it works. So I got a different bow to show her how to squeeze the clip part to open it. I told her that I would not touch her hair or the other bow, she just needed to watch to see how to do it. First she wouldn't look at me. The she threw her bow to the other side of the room rather than take a chance on me touching it.

Finally, after tears became involved because she couldn't get the bow in her hair, she watched me show her how to squeeze the clip so that she could put it in her hair. Then she worked on squeezing it open herself. She did get it in. It was barely hanging on to a couple strands of hair and it was very askew, but it was in her hair and she was so proud of herself.

Listening to her say "Me do it!" can be very frustrating for me. I want to help her. I want her to ask for help. I want to show her the way to get it done and then let her do it after she sees. But she just wants to do it herself without any guidance from me. And I just shake my head and let her do it. Sometimes I am exasperated. Sometimes I am amused. And I sit there and think "If you would just pay attention. If you would just let me show you. It would be so much easier for you." But she doesn't realize that and she struggles on.

I wonder if God feels the same way about all of us. If he shakes His head at our independence and stand alone attitude. If he gets exasperated when we try to do things our own way for the ten thousandth time. When we don't understand that if we would do things His way, we would have a much easier time. We would get things done faster. We would get it done right. But He never forces us. But I still wonder if He just shakes his head at us. At least I know He loves us anyway. And for that, I am truly thankful.

The Reply from Stampin' Up!

I shared my letter to Stampin' Up! with you the other day. Well, they did reply to me. Here's what they said:

Dear Christy,

Thank you for contacting us with your comments regarding our recently announced Color Renovation. We are sorry to hear of your frustration, but appreciate you sharing your feelings with us. We want you to know that we approached this decision carefully, because we know how important color is to our customers; we researched color for close to two years. We looked at trends in fashion, design, paper crafting, home décor, and more. Color trends tend to cross over several markets—what you see as the must-have colors for clothing or home decorating often carry over to paper crafting. We reviewed the sales histories for each color. We found that several of our colors just didn’t sell. And if we’re not selling them, that means our customers aren’t buying them. It’s simple supply and demand: no demand = no reason for supply.

We all know that colors and styles are constantly changing and cycling—and Stampin’ Up! wants to stay on top of current trends. We feel that a large majority of our customers will appreciate having the most current colors available for their crafting. In order to remain a viable company, we must adapt and change with the trends. If we didn't we would cease to exist. We will; however, respect whatever decision you make regarding your future as a Stampin' Up! customer.

Again, thank you for your e-mail. Please let us know if you have additional questions or comments.

Sincerely,

Melissa
Stampin' Up!®
Demonstrator Support


After receiving this response, it doesn't feel to me that they heard what I was saying. I thought that my letter was pretty clear that it was them going back on their word that I was most upset about. Yes, the whole change of the core colors is frustrating, but I will get over that. It was their not doing what they said they were going to do that was my core issue. But that was never addressed at all.

Yes, I understand that they have looked at things and are having to change things...they made that clear that it didn't make business sense to keep selling what they are not, in fact selling. OK, I can understand that.

But where was the "We are sorry that we had to change what we previously told you and all of our customers and demonstrators."? I guess that was what I was looking for more than anything else.

So now I feel just as frustrated as before I wrote the letter to them. I wonder if they understood what I was saying at all. Or even read my letter completely or just skimmed it? Or was I just ranting and wasn't really as clear as I thought in the letter.

What do you think? Was I clear in stating that not doing what they previously said was the problem? Or did it seem that the actual color changes is my problem? So the real question I guess I am asking you is: Did Stampin' Up! respond adequately to the concerns I expressed? Or did they only answer the smallest part of what I said?

Just a Little Longer

Two more weeks to be exact.

That is how long until we are living in the same place as Brent again.

One more time to say goodbye for the week.

Thank goodness it is only once more!

Samantha was VERY unhappy about Brent leaving yesterday. She cried and cried and refused to hug him or tell him bye-bye. She kept saying she didn't want to. She refused to wave as he drove away and continued crying as she told me "Don't want to Daddy work."

I told her that I understand, that I wish Daddy didn't have to leave, but that he has to go to work and we will see him again in a few days. I told her that in just two more weeks, we will live in a different house and that Daddy will be there every day after work. It took quite a while to get her calmed down, but with the help of my neighbor, she finally did get calm.

We can do this.

Just two more weeks.

It will not come too soon!