Saturday, August 8, 2009

What do you say?

I am going to visit a friend today...and it will most likely be the last time I ever see her on this earth. She has been battling cancer for nearly 30 years and is now in Hospice care. She is not expected to live beyond the week.

What do I say? What do we talk about? Do I act as if nothing is any different, or do we talk about heaven? Do I tell her that I wish she was going to be here to help us welcome our new baby? Do I ask her to love on my babies in heaven until I meet up with all of them and her again? Or do I just talk about what is going on now and tell her that she can beat this again as she has done so many times in the past? Do I try to offer comfort, or just tell her that I love her and will never forget her? Do I allow myself to cry, or do I fight to hold it in? What is best for her? That is what it all comes down to. And I have no idea what the answer is.

I've never had someone close to me die this way, at least not since I was a kid. And it was never someone my age. I am lost and don't know what to do. And I don't have very long to figure it out. I am brokenhearted and afraid.